August 2023

Dear daughter,

It has been a few months since I last saw/spoke to you but feels much longer. You have been poisoned to such an extent that you don’t even want to accept my gifts before talking to your toxic mother. Somehow, she has convinced you that I am not replying to her lawyers bogus claims and so you are not allowed to talk to me. That’s a lie but you are too little and gullible and scared of her. The way I see it, your mother has been a liability in every relationship including her parents. She is blinded by her ego which she confuses for self respect and I am sure you will figure this out one day.. She fears losing you because she has seen how much we love each other despite the distance and so she has blocked you from reaching out to me. Instead of making sacrifices for you, she is using you for her own happiness. All the things that she could not achieve because of lack of discipline and commitment, it’s now on you to pursue them for her. You are always late for school, you live close to the beach but have rarely see the sun rise. Sometimes you have to skip school so your mother can be out with her friends. And weekends, you are forced to tag along with your mother so she can have a good time at the cost of your routine. My objections to this way of raising you always go unanswered and it has been extremely frustrating but expected.

Years ago, I went through a similar situation when you mother just left leaving behind just a letter and no contact. I saw you after a week in the court room and you cried as you saw me, I can remember that very vividly… You were barely a year old! The judge heard your mother's solicitors arguments and dismissed the case in my favour. Every other weekend, I would drive down to London to see you and take you to the park, spend some time with you. It was at least a 5 hours drive, back and forth but became a routine because the joy of being with you was far greater than the pain of commuting.

Your mother and I were great initially but she was brainwashed into a Ponzi scheme and dumped her career. I kept telling her, it doesn’t feel right and to focus on a career or passion but taking shortcuts and the greed cost her much more. I have problems of my own but families are meant to stick together and look out for each other. There are ups and downs in any relationship. Some people choose to work at it because they value the other person and some decide to run away because they value themselves more. Looking back at things, I think one of the major reasons she rekindled our relationship was for convenience. Following her broken first marriage it was perhaps best to start a new life in a new place. I am a very hard and disciplined worker and I like doing things in a certain way; your mother struggled to understand me leading to conflicts. She kept creating financial burdens especially at a time when I was looking for support. Her plans didn’t pan out as she had expected and that is always been a case, more or less. To add, communication was always an issue, she wanted me to understand her perspective but always dismissed my opinions and lacked courtesy. I think that’s the reason, I didn’t want to have a child until 4 years into our marriage. But then we decided to go for it because she would not have been able to conceive had we delayed it further.

The small issues soon grew into bigger problems. Lack of understanding to add to the fact that we were both going in opposite directions caused lots of grief. I still cannot work out whether it’s her paranoia or selfish motives but and she had always portrayed herself as the only victim to get help from others. She has a pattern - write emotional emails, involve friends and family or any one who can for support her cause and then do what she wants. She has tried gaslighting my parents several times but they can now see through her. You were less than a year old and she left with you to see her relatives in USA as a break against my wishes. Its always about her. When she returned after months, I thought we were going to start over. One day when I was at work, she stole your passport and disappeared with you. That’s how we were separated and not the lies you have been fed. I ended up having to take therapy and medication as the traumatic events had a serious impact on my mental health. She tried playing out her moves in the UK courts but they dismissed her case which was not all facts. One weekend, when I was eagerly anticipating meeting you, your mum never answered the phone. By the time I could figure out your whereabouts you were already abducted and she then filed for a divorce in India. Whilst I was in turmoil and financially squeezed, I was coerced into the divorce proceedings. I could have pursued the child abduction case which was registered with the British police but then I thought, you were separated from your father and if I separate you from your mother, it’s only going to make it worse for you and so left you in your mothers care. And its the only thing I regret the most. She could have been in prison for scamming people financially and kidnapping you. She also faked my signature to obtain your OCI to keep you in India. A lot of people around the world split up but a vast majority of them make sacrifices for their children. Not your mother; instead you are having to make sacrifices to keep her happy, sigh.

Your mother had made some bold claims about the move to India. She has not lived up to it and wants me to bail her out. In return she wants to continue to manipulate you which I cannot tolerate anymore. It is an absolute shame that she is stealing opportunities from you for her convenience. I have experienced this before but I didn’t expect her to do this to you.

You are 8 years old as of now and due to the events occurred recently, it feels that things are happening all over again. I was in India a couple of months ago to spend time with you and we had a memorable time! You stayed with me for 4 nights and we even travelled together for the first time ever and we had so much fun. To an extent, I feel this made your mother insecure and so she has manipulated you into thinking that you cannot reach out to your father and is controlling your feelings or forcing you to supress them. I am sorry, we are both helpless to an extent but I will not be blackmailed again, not this time. It is one of the lessons I want you to learn and grow stronger. I have faith in God’s will and I am sure there is something much better waiting for us.

There is a lot behind our story and very soon as you grow older, I will upload all conversations, text messages, emails, legal communications, etc etc dating back almost 15 years - on this site; I do not have much to hide. Once everything is out in the open, I guess you can figure out things for yourself.

Lots of love,

Papa